My 20 year old wisdom on life

This is a letter I wrote to my sister after she went through the hardest time in her life. She just sent it to me thanking me for sending it to her over 10 years ago. I am going to take my own advice.

Letter to sister:

Hello precious angel, If only you knew how wonderful you are. You are so talented in so many ways. We have trouble seeing our own. We go through life, no one really knows why. Everyone is in the same boat. But we set goals for days, months, and years so we can feel that we are completing something. Sure, maybe we are pretending and making big deals out of things that seem insignificant - but we do this to keep our sanity as long as we can - because we do have some time ahead of us.

I have been down in the dumps - and it does feed into itself. Negativity attracts negativity. But I decided to eliminate all the negativity - people, bad habits, etc. and replace it with good, positive things. Yes, that is the hard part - but it doesn't happen over night. The early bird gets the worm. You've got to start now. I've got to warn you though - at first - it is annoying - nice people, smiling, good habits. But that is because being where you've been, you can't relate to them/it or understand them/it. Learn to laugh at yourself when you screw up! I do - hey I might look silly and redfaced but then you can truly laugh because it's funny that you're being so silly. Not stupid - just a silly little human. Just remember, everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has a lot of something. Pay as much attention to the things that are positive in your life as to those that give you trouble.

Strolling down Santiago Street

I'm walking down Santiago street towards the ocean.

Walking thorough the Sunset in San Francisco, I never thought I'd love it so much. A friend of mine visited me recently and joked about how "the Sunset is not even San Francisco". I don't care what he thinks. I feel like I am living in a well-kept secret. Over the last few months I have felt my stress level go down, now that I live in a place that is less congested. The neighborhood doesn't take itself too seriously. It's relaxed and doesn't seem to have the stressful air of other parts of the city.

It's the best of both worlds. I can hop on the L train and be downtown in 10 minutes. If I want to.

I get the city anytime. I am in it but I get to feel the relaxed serenity too.

Just walked by a terra-cotta colored home with white trim. I love it. I want it someday, or something like it. I decide that it is a distinct "me" quality that I like terra-cotta houses with white trim. I love that it's "me".

I walk by 3 Asian construction workers pouring cement into a driveway. They are in front of a house in the sun. I get a profound gratefulness in my heart that even though I am currently broke, life is good.

I walk by a rose bush with roses that remind me of fire. They have a yellow center and red trim. So pretty..

I grab my notebook because it's in my hand already - and I remember how I always want to write - to start a blog. I think of genius things to write every day - or what I perceive as genius - but I forget to write it down.

I'm at the beach now. Cold wind is blowing my hair around. It's not comfortable but I like it anyway.

I'm standing in the sand dunes, looking at the red and green cacti foliage all around, wondering what it's called. The colors make my eyes feel good. Like they are dancing and feeding themselves just by taking in the color. I love color. I think it breeds life - it's like food for my heart and soul.

Birds fly by me as if they are surfing on the wind. Little hang-gliders and I begin to understand how much God loves us. Such a feast for the eyes. The ocean is surreal, almost hard to comprehend it's massiveness, life and power. The patterns in the sand are so cool and unique. God is such a cool designer!

I think about how I want to start a blog. I have always dreamed of being a traveling writer. I realize it's ok to slow down and enjoy my life. Enjoy the process - Life is a journey, not a destination.

Blogs are so passe now - and I am only getting started. But I will do it anyway, because I love it.

I am getting vision of old high-school peers I see on Facebook now. I am impressed with how some of them have developed their lives by the paths they've chosen. One guy in particular, who I have always had a crush on. A good looking guy who seemed to have a good heart and soul. I see photos of his lifestyle now and get inspired. I envy his wife - only a bit. And I realize, once again, that life is what you make it. It's about what you are open to. And allowing God to show you when there is danger and when to turn away.

Debra, a classmate calls me. She's asking me about the final for English 96. I tell her to check the web site.